Quiet Confidence: The Power of Humble Self-Assurance

I opened the door, walked in from the outside and stood there, waiting for my eyes to adjust so I could take in my surroundings unsure of what I was expecting. Then, a mature gentleman made his way across the room working his way around the active groups.

"Are you ready?" 

As we settled in, he asked about my experience and I responded "I'm a complete beginner." 

Who's jaw just dropped? And who would be willing to enter a place you've never been to learn something you don't even know the basic rules of? And openly admit that you're a beginner?

If you answered yes, and meant it, you might just have more self-confidence than you think.

Confidence is a trait that is widely admired and sought after. It is often seen as a key ingredient for success in any field or aspect of life, from business to sports to personal relationships to self perception. But, confidence can also be a double-edged sword. When taken to an extreme, it can turn into arrogance or over confidence, which can lead to disastrous outcomes.

But there's a special kind of confidence, sometimes referred to as inner confidence or quiet confidence, that's highly coveted and refreshing.

So let's explore the concept of quiet confidence, which is a more grounded and humble form of self-assurance.

What is Quiet Confidence?

Quiet confidence is a state of mind where an individual is sure of their abilities and strengths but does not feel the need to boast about them. It is a quiet and unassuming form of self-assurance that comes from a deep sense of inner security. People who possess quiet confidence do not feel the need to prove themselves to others constantly. They do not seek validation or approval from external sources but instead, rely on their own sense of self-worth.

Quiet confidence is not the same as shyness or introversion. People who possess quiet confidence are not afraid to speak up when necessary, take risks, or pursue their goals. They are simply more understated in their approach and do not feel the need to draw attention to themselves. They are secure in their abilities and are comfortable letting their actions speak for themselves.

Quiet confidence means you're comfortable speaking up and pusuing your goals because you're sure of who you are and what you stand for instead of relying on external validation or approval.

Why is Quiet Confidence Important?

Quiet confidence is important because it allows individuals to be more authentic and genuine in their interactions with others. When people are not constantly trying to prove themselves, they can be more relaxed and natural in their interactions. They are not afraid to ask for help or admit when they do not know something. This openness and honesty can foster deeper connections and trust with others.

It's also important because it allows individuals to stay grounded and focused on their goals. When people are not constantly seeking validation or approval from others, they can stay true to their own values and beliefs. They are not swayed by external pressures or opinions, which can lead to more consistent and authentic decision-making.

Finally, quiet confidence is important because it can lead to more sustainable success in the long run. When people are not driven solely by external validation, they are more likely to pursue goals that are meaningful to them personally. This intrinsic motivation can lead to greater satisfaction and fulfillment in life, even if external measures of success are not always present.

Impact of Quiet Confidence on Mental Health

When we have a strong sense of self-worth and self-awareness, we are less likely to be affected by external factors that can harm our mental well-being, such as criticism, rejection, or failure.

Developing our confidence can also help us manage stress and anxiety by allowing us to approach challenges with a calm and composed mindset. By focusing on our strengths and accepting our weaknesses, we can build resilience and cope better with difficult situations. Overall, cultivating quiet confidence can lead to better mental health outcomes, including improved self-esteem, reduced anxiety and stress, and increased overall well-being.

How to Cultivate Quiet Confidence?

Cultivating quiet confidence is not something that can be achieved overnight or with the snap of a finger. It requires a deep sense of self-awareness and self-acceptance. And that can take time.

Quietly confident people have a strong sense of self-worth and don’t need external validation to feel good about themselves. They know their strengths and weaknesses and accept themselves for who they are. They also understand that they are not perfect and that making mistakes is part of the learning process.

Quiet confidence is not something that comes naturally to everyone. It takes practice and a conscious effort to cultivate.

Here are some tips on how to develop quiet confidence:

• Know yourself: Spend time reflecting on your strengths and weaknesses, values, and beliefs. Knowing who you are and what you stand for can help you develop a sense of self-assurance.
• Focus on your strengths: Identify your strengths and develop them. Instead of dwelling on your weaknesses, focus on what you do well, find ways to improve and accept the areas you can't change.
• Set realistic goals: Set achievable goals and work towards them. Accomplishing goals can help build confidence and self-esteem.
• Don’t compare yourself to others: Avoid comparing yourself to others. Everyone has their own unique journey, and it’s important to focus on your own progress.
• Embrace failure: Making mistakes is part of the learning process. So use failures as an opportunity to learn and grow.
• Practice gratitude: Cultivate an attitude of gratitude by focusing on the good things in your life. Being grateful can help shift your focus from what’s missing to what you have.

It's that quiet confidence that allowed me to openly state "I'm a beginner" and also respond with a smile when he mentioned his surprise that I was willing to show up despite having any prior experience. Honestly, the thought never crossed my mind. I wanted to learn so I found a place that could teach me.

Quiet confidence is a powerful and understated form of self-assurance. It allows someone to be more authentic and genuine in their interactions with others, stay grounded and focused on their goals, and achieve greater satisfaction and fulfillment in life. Cultivating quiet confidence requires a deep sense of self-awareness and self-acceptance.

While not everyone naturally feels like a confident person, we can all learn to be more confident. Taking action toward purposeful personal growth, moves us closer to that confident individual we want to be. We don't need to make ourselves into new people. Over time, we can learn to embrace the true confidence that comes from being so self assured and comfortable in our own skin.

Looking for more tips and guidance to make progress? Check out my free goal achieving workbook.